Summer has finally arrived at the beach, after a wet and cooler than normal Spring. So this morning, I was glad for one good hour to lay flagstone before it got too hot and humid to work outdoors.
Earlier in the week, without paying close attention, I got the backs of my legs and the tops of my feet badly sunburned just watering my trees and shrubs for about an hour, and with my track record with skin cancer, that's not a practice I want to continue.
And since doing yard work has become my new employment, and one that totally lights me up, I want to make sure I get maximum enjoyment but minimum risk for skin damage.
The flagstone I am laying was an after-thought once the landscapers had come and gone, leaving me with a nicely sculpted perimeter of flower beds around 3/4 of the house. The beds are mulched with pine needles, which provide a wonderful almost Christmas-sy scent, but leave a bushy, unfinished look to the beds.
And since the beds are quite generous in size and there's ample space between plantings, they cried out for a finished edge. Flagstone is my favorite natural element in a walkway or garden, so I stopped by the local rock-meister and picked out a pallet of "Green River" which suits perfectly because green in my color and the house has lots of dark green trim!
This morning, I set about early hoisting flagstones out of the wire pallet and placing them just inside the sculpted edge of the beds atop the mulch, hoping that my $250 investment in rock wouldn't give my newly landscaped gardens a cheesy "Coney Island" look (with apologies to any New Yorkers who might take offense). I hoisted and placed and hoisted and placed and spaced and placed for about an hour, getting about a third of the way done before the heat, humidity and my lack of fitness overtook me. But what I saw, I liked. So did my neighbors Beverly and Byron, who have the prettiest yard in the neighborhood, so I'm feeling pretty good about the early fruits of my labor.
I'm not sure what amazes me more: the fact that - in retirement - I am relishing my new role as manual laborer, after 30 years of being a desk jockey married to a computer keyboard - or that I seem to have a good eye or a good feel for the design elements of landscaping. Probably doesn't matter.
What matters is that these new morning rituals are like morning meditations, done joyfully in service to nature. One good hour to get centered and ready to greet the day!
PEACE.
--HeartSleeve
Friday, June 10, 2005
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Gifts from the Sea (and other lesser known places...)
Over the last two days, I have been given many gifts 'from the sea,' to steal a line from Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Actually, let's start with her, because she was an original point of inspiration for me 'dreaming big' and believing that a kid who grew up in Capitol Heights (what is now refered to as 'the hood' in more ways than one) could one day through luck and pluck, have her very own place by the sea.
Having read many years ago AML's BIG little tome, Gift from the Sea, I ached to have a place of my own some day where I could truly let go and drink in the tonic dispensed at the ocean's edge. As a Pisces, water is my 'element,' and I am never more calm, cleansed, comforted or healed than when I am can hear the pounding surf, taste and smell the salt and sea scents of the ocean, feel the coolness of the wet sand between my toes and the warmth of sunbleached wood on my bare feet.
The ocean has also been my teacher, my confessor, my therapist and my direct line to God. Many times have I have prostrated myself face down and cried an ocean of tears into the sand when heartbroken, gazed upward and puzzled over life's mysteries, and let the fierce sound of the waves erase the monkey-mind of worries in my hot brain.
So I am embarrassed to admit that although I have been living now two weeks here at the shore, it took the invite of a friend who also has a place on the beach to actually get me to water's edge! If you lead this horse to water, I will drink! That was gift number ONE this week!
What has stolen my time thusfar from my rendezvous with the sea, you might ask? Hey, I been busy settling in and unpacking and managing a major lawn landscaping and deck laying operation. What a load of crappo! As my friend Alice might have said, "Get thee to the beach, CrazyLady!"
Having read many years ago AML's BIG little tome, Gift from the Sea, I ached to have a place of my own some day where I could truly let go and drink in the tonic dispensed at the ocean's edge. As a Pisces, water is my 'element,' and I am never more calm, cleansed, comforted or healed than when I am can hear the pounding surf, taste and smell the salt and sea scents of the ocean, feel the coolness of the wet sand between my toes and the warmth of sunbleached wood on my bare feet.
The ocean has also been my teacher, my confessor, my therapist and my direct line to God. Many times have I have prostrated myself face down and cried an ocean of tears into the sand when heartbroken, gazed upward and puzzled over life's mysteries, and let the fierce sound of the waves erase the monkey-mind of worries in my hot brain.
So I am embarrassed to admit that although I have been living now two weeks here at the shore, it took the invite of a friend who also has a place on the beach to actually get me to water's edge! If you lead this horse to water, I will drink! That was gift number ONE this week!
What has stolen my time thusfar from my rendezvous with the sea, you might ask? Hey, I been busy settling in and unpacking and managing a major lawn landscaping and deck laying operation. What a load of crappo! As my friend Alice might have said, "Get thee to the beach, CrazyLady!"
Speaking of Alice, she is directly responsible for the second gift I received this week. ALice is a BIGTRAINDC specialty beverage Queen, managing outfits all over the eastern seaboard and midatlantic region who sell and distribute their line of upscale chai and cocoa and coffee and other yuppy frothy caffeine drinks. And they are all scrumptious. I know this because yesterday, she gifted me WITH A HUGE PERSONAL ASSORTMENT gift basket teeming with tempting tea-like tasty tantalizing tummy warmers. And I've never laid eyes (or anything else!) on Alice! She's a dame of the highest ilk!
Gift #3 came with a knock on my back door yesterday, when Bev, my neighbor and new friend, surprised me with a quart of 'just picked' local strawberries, still warm from the sun and smelling like a tiny slice of Heaven! Bev and her delightful husband Byron have pretty much adopted me since I arrived for good here in Hunters Run, my new 'hood! They have extended every act of kindness and generosity and warm friendship imaginable, which reinforces my firm belief that I am truly living in a state of grace these days.
And the gifts just kept on coming. Craig, the hunky local handyman good looking enough to be a regular on 'Desperate Housewives,' arrived yesterday to install the walkway off my back deck that will allow me to proceed from the house, even on the wettest days, without submerging my feet or the dogs' into soggy wet grass and mud to take our daily constitutionals. Terry Hatcher I'm not, but oh, if I were!
I also traded emails and phone calls with many new friends and old friends and angels yesterday whose very existence enriches my life every day.
The lessons I learned this week that I would invite anyone to share, are these:
- take at least an hour today or tomorrow and do something for yourself that inspires, enriches, comforts and fills you.
- take at least an hour today or tomorrow and do a kindness or service UNASKED for someone who needs a lift.
- spread the wealth by asking someone in your circle to join you in these joyous works.
- take a moment today and give thanks that you can do these things effortlessly.
These are gifts we can share.
PEACE.
-- HeartSleeve
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Be Grateful for 'Normal.'
Today I am grateful that I am healthy pretty much. An infection earlier in the week seems to have run its course, thanks to Docs and the magic of "chemistry." I worry about friends who have much more serious health issues and how they cope so well, or at all, when I was layed low by something as ridiculous as a bladder infection.
And I am amazed at how quickly "normal" felt so wonderful, because usually, I operate on the edge... always pushing higher, longer, farther, bigger, better; stretching and straining for the impossible... I lose sight of how comfy and cozy normal can be, until it abruptly departs and something nastier or more depressing appears.
I am counting my blessings today, because my life generally percolates along fairly predictably, largely along lines I define, except for those periods of true grace when something quite marvelous or unexpected occurs.
I read somewhere yesterday that
JUSTICE is getting what we deserve...
MERCY is not getting what we deserve... and
GRACE is getting what we don't deserve.
By that definition, I think I spend alot of time in a state of grace. And I'm not alone.
I think sometimes it's hard for us to accept that we are truly blessed. We cogitate on what ails us, individually and collectively, and not on the incredible blessings that grace our everyday lives. The parking space that opens up just as we drive in, the breeze that refreshes us after a little outdoor manual labor, the absolute blessing of being healthy that most of us take for granted because it is as effortless as air or breathing.
I watched my Mom struggle for every breath she took, as emphysema was destroying her lungs and ultimately her life, but I didnt truly "get it" until I came down with pneumonia a few years after she was gone, and I struggled to breathe with the help of the same breathalizers that gave her momentary peace. So today, I try not to take for granted "the air that we breathe" just because it comes easy.
Many of my friends right now are suffering - breast cancer, depression, anxiety, addiction - and I marvel at how well they cope with just doing the everyday things, nevermind the new regimens and routines they endure on the road to recovery. I call on God through the infinite power of prayer to aid and comfort them, and I am not ashamed to ask for the prayers of others on their behalf, because I have seen how quickly or unmistakably God intervenes when we ask. And I am very grateful for that faith.
Having just retired with what I hope is a good - and I mean GOOD - 30 years ahead of me, I am grateful to Metro for having given me a good job that did much more than just pay the bills for more than 20 years and provide the ability to retire at a still young 55.
Working at Metro gave me the opportunity to meet so many good people who work tirelessly to provide, support and promote very meaningful public transit service. While my days were not always punctuated with exclamation points, I marvel and give grateful thanks when I recall those occasions where the impact of my words provided absolute clarity of purpose as to our collective mission and direction. And those moments are both points of gratitude and pride. So my heart goes out to those who feel mangled and misunderstood in their jobs, or who struggle to keep jobs for whatever reason. Or those who do their job well, even though their heart or passion is elsewhere.
Mostly, I am grateful for a network of friends, some known by face and many known only by their screen names or online monikers. I sense a crazy quilt of personalities, interests, talents, fears, dreams, quirks and eccentricities and I embrace that cornucopeia with relish. I rely on finding a friendly greeting when I drop in, and I am rarely disappointed.
And for all of this, and the great state of normalcy, I am so very grateful today.
PEACE
--HeartSleeve
And I am amazed at how quickly "normal" felt so wonderful, because usually, I operate on the edge... always pushing higher, longer, farther, bigger, better; stretching and straining for the impossible... I lose sight of how comfy and cozy normal can be, until it abruptly departs and something nastier or more depressing appears.
I am counting my blessings today, because my life generally percolates along fairly predictably, largely along lines I define, except for those periods of true grace when something quite marvelous or unexpected occurs.
I read somewhere yesterday that
JUSTICE is getting what we deserve...
MERCY is not getting what we deserve... and
GRACE is getting what we don't deserve.
By that definition, I think I spend alot of time in a state of grace. And I'm not alone.
I think sometimes it's hard for us to accept that we are truly blessed. We cogitate on what ails us, individually and collectively, and not on the incredible blessings that grace our everyday lives. The parking space that opens up just as we drive in, the breeze that refreshes us after a little outdoor manual labor, the absolute blessing of being healthy that most of us take for granted because it is as effortless as air or breathing.
I watched my Mom struggle for every breath she took, as emphysema was destroying her lungs and ultimately her life, but I didnt truly "get it" until I came down with pneumonia a few years after she was gone, and I struggled to breathe with the help of the same breathalizers that gave her momentary peace. So today, I try not to take for granted "the air that we breathe" just because it comes easy.
Many of my friends right now are suffering - breast cancer, depression, anxiety, addiction - and I marvel at how well they cope with just doing the everyday things, nevermind the new regimens and routines they endure on the road to recovery. I call on God through the infinite power of prayer to aid and comfort them, and I am not ashamed to ask for the prayers of others on their behalf, because I have seen how quickly or unmistakably God intervenes when we ask. And I am very grateful for that faith.
Having just retired with what I hope is a good - and I mean GOOD - 30 years ahead of me, I am grateful to Metro for having given me a good job that did much more than just pay the bills for more than 20 years and provide the ability to retire at a still young 55.
Working at Metro gave me the opportunity to meet so many good people who work tirelessly to provide, support and promote very meaningful public transit service. While my days were not always punctuated with exclamation points, I marvel and give grateful thanks when I recall those occasions where the impact of my words provided absolute clarity of purpose as to our collective mission and direction. And those moments are both points of gratitude and pride. So my heart goes out to those who feel mangled and misunderstood in their jobs, or who struggle to keep jobs for whatever reason. Or those who do their job well, even though their heart or passion is elsewhere.
Mostly, I am grateful for a network of friends, some known by face and many known only by their screen names or online monikers. I sense a crazy quilt of personalities, interests, talents, fears, dreams, quirks and eccentricities and I embrace that cornucopeia with relish. I rely on finding a friendly greeting when I drop in, and I am rarely disappointed.
And for all of this, and the great state of normalcy, I am so very grateful today.
PEACE
--HeartSleeve
Monday, May 30, 2005
Calling All Angels !
I am in need of an army of angels!
A dear friend has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, had surgery last week, and is looking at chemo and radiation as soon as she has healed from the surgery. Here's the rub... she has little to no support network and is in a bad way. To make matters worse, I have just recently moved out of state, so I'm not as local as I would need to be.
I have another legion of angels praying for her, and you can do that as well if you like, but I am calling on you to send her cards and little acts of kindness in the mail.
Her name is Helen, and we go way back to grade school. She doesnt have email, so postal mail would be a real treat and would help lift her spirits and keep her focused on getting well.
Here's her name and address:
Helen Camper
588 Valleywood Rd
Millersville, MD 21108
She doesnt know I am asking, but I am sure she would appreciate any little act of kindness or consideration you might extend to her. I know I would be very grateful if you would keep her on your radar screen as she goes along this scary, lonely journey.
PEACE.
HeartSleeve
A dear friend has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, had surgery last week, and is looking at chemo and radiation as soon as she has healed from the surgery. Here's the rub... she has little to no support network and is in a bad way. To make matters worse, I have just recently moved out of state, so I'm not as local as I would need to be.
I have another legion of angels praying for her, and you can do that as well if you like, but I am calling on you to send her cards and little acts of kindness in the mail.
Her name is Helen, and we go way back to grade school. She doesnt have email, so postal mail would be a real treat and would help lift her spirits and keep her focused on getting well.
Here's her name and address:
Helen Camper
588 Valleywood Rd
Millersville, MD 21108
She doesnt know I am asking, but I am sure she would appreciate any little act of kindness or consideration you might extend to her. I know I would be very grateful if you would keep her on your radar screen as she goes along this scary, lonely journey.
PEACE.
HeartSleeve
Friday, May 27, 2005
This is the Day that the LORD has made!
A new chapter is beginning for me, as I acclimate to recent seismic changes in my life: retirement from my spin-doctor job in Washington DC in April, leaving my family and my home of the last 20 years and moving to the ocean in May. My head is still spinning but I am anxious to open wide the door marked "Possibility."
My last days in Bowie were spent boxing up those items that no longer fit into the more simple life I hope to begin. In the end, I free-cycled most of it to family, friends and neighbors who could find some use or enjoyment from what I was leaving behind.
And to make this last week in Bowie just as complicated as I possibly could, I bought a new car -- a brand-spanking new '06 HONDA Ridgeline, the first p/up truck I've ever owned. It's a beaut, steel blue with a hint of teal... and rugged in a girlie kinda way, same as its new owner.
And although I've been retired now for nearly a month, I don't feel retired (whatever that may come to mean) because my life and days have been jam-packed finalizing my move, and in helping a dear friend deal with the news she has breast cancer. Everything I am experiencing right now, either in my own life or vicariously through the lives of close friends and family, reminds me that we do not own this life, and we are largely powerless to fend off CHANGE when it arrives, oftentimes unannounced at our door.
I have come to realize, however, that when we surrender control of the steering wheel, we usually end up in a far better place than we might have under our own white-knuckled control.
I am ready for that journey to begin.
My last days in Bowie were spent boxing up those items that no longer fit into the more simple life I hope to begin. In the end, I free-cycled most of it to family, friends and neighbors who could find some use or enjoyment from what I was leaving behind.
And to make this last week in Bowie just as complicated as I possibly could, I bought a new car -- a brand-spanking new '06 HONDA Ridgeline, the first p/up truck I've ever owned. It's a beaut, steel blue with a hint of teal... and rugged in a girlie kinda way, same as its new owner.
And although I've been retired now for nearly a month, I don't feel retired (whatever that may come to mean) because my life and days have been jam-packed finalizing my move, and in helping a dear friend deal with the news she has breast cancer. Everything I am experiencing right now, either in my own life or vicariously through the lives of close friends and family, reminds me that we do not own this life, and we are largely powerless to fend off CHANGE when it arrives, oftentimes unannounced at our door.
I have come to realize, however, that when we surrender control of the steering wheel, we usually end up in a far better place than we might have under our own white-knuckled control.
I am ready for that journey to begin.
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